These last few years I've found myself saying things I never imaged I'd have to say to a tiny human. No one warned me that raising children is sometimes not too dissimilar to training an army of rabid squirrels fueled on Redbull.
Seemingly obvious instructions are repeated multiple times.
"Stop licking his leg!"
"Please don't suck on my toes!"
"Don't wipe your nose on the curtains!"
"Stop sniffing your sisters butt!"
"No, you can't shave your legs, you're three!"
"No, you don't have boobies yet, please put your dress down."
"Stop licking the dog!"
"I told you not to drink out of that puddle!"
And of course, it's usually out in public when these words of guidance leave my mouth and I'm met with concerned glares from onlookers. Sometimes I'm not sure if we're running a household or a zoo. I'm sure it sounds more like the latter.
It's hard to believe these butt sniffing, leg licking, puddle drinking little people will somehow have to become contributing members of society someday and it's up to us to steer them in the right direction. Thankfully there aren't too many parents telling their 18 year olds to stop wiping their nose on the curtains, so it seems most have had at least some kind of parenting success.
I think we have our work cut out for us...
- Talitha Sprigg